Friday night Derek and I went to the home of my friend Kyle and his spouse, who we call the “other Jill”, or for the purposed of this blog, OJ, not be confused in anyway with the infamous idiot with the same initials, but I digress. We met at Kyle and OJ’s place for drinks, and Kyle, who was trained as a chef, put together a fantastic spread of cheeses and gluten free crackers (for me) and cured meats and gluten-ful breads for Derek. There were all manner of fabulous treats, from tapenade to artichoke spread, fresh farmer’s market fruits and home cured olives, and a lovely 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon that I had brought along to share.
We ate, we noshed, we laughed. Kyle and Derek are meat eaters and dug into the cured meats, while OJ, who is a vegetarian like me, and I dug into the cheeses. OJ and I teased our husbands about their snoring, and they teased us back about the things that we do that drive them a bit bonkers. We discussed our recent travels: OJ to Israel, Derek and I to Istanbul, and compared stories about the souvenirs we found in the markets there.
We talked about the price of real-estate in the Bay Area and in Sacramento, where Kyle and OJ, like so many Bay Area couples who long to own something larger than a one bed-room apartment plan to move. We shared stories of the craziness of living in San Francisco, where you hear way more of your neighbor’s lives than you would like, and where there always seems to be a party or a partier right outside your window when you want a quiet night at home or a good night’s sleep. We ended the evening with home-made salted caramel ice cream, which had us all groaning in delight from the sheer decadence of it.
So, what is wrong with this picture? It is simply the story of two couples who shared some wonderful food and wine and an evening of friendship. Two married couples who love each other, and sometimes drive each other crazy, like every over married couple I know.
But the one thing that I may have obfuscated or deliberately forgot to mention, is that “the other Jill” comes from Andrew’s stage name, and that Andrew and Kyle are both male. So, if my story didn’t make you uncomfortable up to this point, why would it now? Why do some people have such a hard time supporting “gay” marriage? Why is the concept of two men or two women in love so hard for some people to embrace? Love is love, and marriage is marriage, and really, we should stop calling it “gay marriage” and just call it “marriage”, because that’s what it is. What difference does it make if two people who love each other and chose to marry and build a life together are the same gender or different genders? Absolutely nothing! To those that believe the point of marriage is procreation, I would ask, what difference is there between a male-female couple who can not produce their own children because of infertility or age, and a gay couple who can not produce their own children, and chose to adopt? And again, I respond: Absolutely nothing! Because when it comes right down to it, what does it mean for two people in love to be able to make a commitment to each other in front of their friends and families, a commitment that allows them to take care of each other, to share their joys, sorrows and assets, a commitment that is recognized by business and government and just about everyone on earth as a declaration of their abiding love for each other? Absolutely everything.